Female self -realization: how to find a balance?

Many women are tormented by the issues of a painful choice between family and work: whether to devote themselves to children or achieve professional successes? How to combine all tasks, interests and needs, managing to pay attention to yourself and households? Is it true that modern society requires too much?

We decided to discuss these issues with Daria Stakhovskaya, psychologist, founder and leader of the Projectar project . Daria has been successfully developing her own business for 15 years, practices as a coach and psychologist. Business needs and people’s problems are part of what it works with.

– Daria, often, when women decide to devote their time to family and children, they seem to feel obligated to sacrifice the implementation in the professional field. What, in your opinion, is connected with?

– Often this sensation is associated with the illusion imposed by society that if a woman has a job, a career, a favorite thing, then her family will be abandoned and deprived of attention and care. Many still believe that a woman who actively allocates time and effort for self -development takes it away from her husband and children. Accordingly, many mothers really are faced with a choice: work or family – without even suspecting that these areas can be competently and fully combined.

– But such a combination will surely require much more internal and external resources? Is it justified? Isn’t it easier to really choose one role and pay all the attention to her?

– Total enthusiasm for family affairs also has its shortcomings in the long run. A mother who does not have experience in self -realization outside the family can form in children the image of a woman who performs only two social roles: mother and wife.


The daughters of such mothers can be difficult to give professional implementation, or they will feel guilty to their mother in their career. The sons may have problems with the choice of a partner: either they will be drawn to hypercal women with strong leadership makings, or they will strive to “fit” their women in the image and likeness of their mother. Both options can often lead to conflicts in the family.

On the other hand, when a woman has at least a small, but her own income, when she is successful in professional activity, she is a living (and most important) example of self -sufficiency and self -realization for her children. I want to equal such a mother, she reveals different aspects of a developed mature personality and retains her authority in the eyes of children for a long time.

– And how does the female desire to grow and develop on a relationship with her husband affects? Will he feel abandoned and deprived?

– On the contrary, the union of two strong and developing partners is always more stable than a couple of leading and led. When the wife is completely focused on life, on the well -being of her husband and children, she can lose the power of her personality, and men feel very much.

In addition, if a financial crisis occurs in the family, then a woman who does not have her own employment, her own income and interests can destructively strengthen her husband’s fears and anxiety. The woman being implemented in the professional sphere, on the contrary, will become a psychological support for her husband in crisis, will be able to support him with her own experience and confidence.

– It turns out that all women must certainly build a career or conduct their business?

– No I do not think so. In courses and webinars, I always say that every woman should strive not for a career, but for self -realization. She needs to find the scope of her abilities, in business or creativity – not so important.

My courses are aimed at fully reveal the potential of every woman, give her an internal support and self -confidence. True growing up and finding your personality helps to remove psychological blocks, increase the standard of living, form income … And, most importantly, to feel the confidence that the realized wife and mother can give herself and her family much more.

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